Last week, I did a remote healing session with Loren (not her real name). I’ve known her for about a year, but it had been some time since we had talked. Loren’s awareness about the origins of her physical manifestations continues to unfold and I was excited to learn of the progress that she had made with the various healing modalities she is employing. She has truly taken charge of her life and choices, and she is learning to relax into her own divinity.
As the session neared a close, she brought up one of her primary challenges, one which many – maybe most people – find difficult to overcome in their path to enlightenment. She said: “Cathy, I’m doing so well when I am with my daughter and friends, but it is much harder to hold my vibration with my parents and sister. I feel like they bring me right back down into the mire with their problems and drama. I don’t want to judge them and I try so hard to let it go, but I feel myself being pulled back. Why is that so challenging? I mean, I love them, but I don’t want to be like them! And, somehow if I’m not being like them, I’m not playing by the rules!”
What is it about family of origin stuff that makes us crazy? And how can we love our families, but remain true to ourselves as interdependent, evolving beings? For Loren and many, I think the vibration of the story, of the history of our tribal roots, loyalty to the family beliefs is the key. And my advice was to drop the story and just see it as a vibrational issue.
Loren has raised her vibration by changing her thoughts, feelings and beliefs about herself, her life, her world. Her new vibrations no longer match those of her family – it’s as if she’s not playing the game anymore. She’s able to hold her vibration except when she is exposed to her family – the “familiar” vibrations. Like a drumming group, one drum beats and the rest follow in rhythm. Except in Loren’s case, she beats out of rhythm with her family now. Since the family vibration is the norm, if she holds to her new, true vibration, she becomes the outcast, so she slips back into the old vibration when she’s with them. Then she becomes angry, frustrated, and feels as if she is at square one -judging them and herself.
I suggested that she simply feel her unique and “unfamiliar” vibration. Know that it’s now different from the family. Continue to love herself and by doing so, she strengthens it, like turning up the volume of the drum. What’s interesting about nature is that oscillating (vibrating) systems that are close enough in frequency will entrain (begin beating together) usually towards the faster one. So if Loren can simply stay in her higher, faster vibration, she may even see behavior changes in her family when she is with them. I cautioned her not to expect this, but just be pleased if she saw it.
I know this idea of holding the vibration without the story of the family drama is somewhat abstract. But the story just pulls us back into the mire. And you know, we can do this with our family, but also our world. The tribe wants to be validated and stay where it is vibrationally. By not giving it the power of the old way of doing things, we may just be able to raise its vibration by pulling it along with us through our own vibratory elevation!
Where have you felt the tribal vibration in your life? And what have you done to move to your own rhythms?
Have a great week!
©CathyUlrich and LargeSelf, 2012